Spidersilk
by ghettos
Summary: "He made you promise, didn't he?" /Peter and Gwen in the aftermath.
1. porcelain promises

▌**spidersilk.**  
a_ spider-man_ fanfiction by studies in pink~

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(one)  
porcelain promises.

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Staying away from Gwen Stacy, as Peter Parker soon comes to realize, isn't easy at all.

Everytime she so much as looks his way or brushes by him in the corridors, he finds himself consumed with a gut-wrenching pain, overwhelmed with longing and yearning. Sometimes he thinks about breaking his promise to Captain Stacy and thus bringing his pitiful pining to an end, but he reminds himself, over and over, _you promised you would leave her alone when he was on his deathbed. Do your promises really mean nothing, Peter Parker?_

But regardless of how much he tries to forget about her, Peter always finds himself back in the same spot — on the balcony outside her window, watching her silently. He constantly wonders about whether she knows he's there, then chides himself; _if she did, would it even make a difference? _before sinking back into a stupor as he just watches her, mesmerized.

There's just something about her that makes it so hard for him to get over her — maybe it's the fact that she was his first love, or maybe it's the way she pushes her hair over her shoulder, the golden strands spilling onto her sweater as she continues to stare at her homework, brow creasing. Or maybe it's because she's _Gwen_ — Gwen in all her bold, brash, _beautiful_ glory — because that's what sets her apart from other girls.

Aunt May's advice to him was to date other girls in order to move on — but as long as she's around, Peter can't even bring himself to look at other girls. So when Sally Avril sidles up to him and bats her eyelashes and asks in a coy tone whether he's free Friday night, he answers, "no," without even really thinking about it, his eyes fixed on Gwen. Sally follows his gaze and gives a sigh, "It's always the boring ones," and with an eye roll she's gone. Peter can't really wrap his mind around what just happened, _but then again, _he wonders, _does it really matter_?

The death of Captain Stacy still haunts him at night, in his dreams he sees the dying man, pain and fear in his eyes, telling him to promise to leave his daughter out of all of this. When he comes to, shivering, in the middle of the night, he wonders; w_hy did I agree?_ Because it's wrong to deny a man of his deathbed of his final request, the more logical side of him counters, and with a shaky sigh he presses his lips together and rolls over. Of course, he doesn't get any sleep for the rest of the night.

The way Gwen treats him also frustrates him — she's all polite and distant and subtly _aloof. _Doesn't she understand that he's didn't leave her of his own free will? Doesn't she _see_ that he thinks about her every second of the day, unable to get over her? _Why can't she just see it?_ He asks himself exasperatedly. _Why does she have to make this so agonizing for me?_

_She's just protecting herself,_ he realizes one day, and he's suddenly struck by how selfish he's been — thinking about how hard it is for _him,_ and not even once considering _her_ feelings. _I left her,_ he realizes with a kind of haunted horror coming over him. _Not the other way around. Goodness, how could I have been so blind—?_ But then again, he's never been able to see clearly around her.

Staying away from Gwen Stacy, as Peter Parker soon comes to realize, is more selfish than he'd ever thought.

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**A/N** — thanks for reading, and please do _not _favourite or alert without reviewing (:


	2. enigmatic

▌**spidersilk.**  
a_ spider-man_ fanfiction by studies in pink~

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(two)  
enigmatic.

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Peter Parker, without a doubt, is one of the most frustrating people that Gwen Stacy has ever met.

For one, he's an enigma, one that she can't figure out. Gwen likes science, she likes it when things have a fixed definition and a fixed reaction to changes in their environment. But Peter — he stupidly seems to think that he has a sort of compulsion to _save the world_, regardless of whether he loses his life in the process.

And that frustrates her.

It wasn't easy being his girlfriend, with the knowledge that he could die anytime soon. Now that they're over, she shouldn't be so concerned about him anymore — logically, yes. But it's hard to ignore the purple bruises that color his face and neck — even though he wears long-sleeves and jeans that hide the brunt of it, they're apparent and people start whispering, _maybe he's abused at home, maybe he belongs to a gang — _but only she knows the truth and it weighs down on her like her heart's been filled with lead.

_And I'm the only one who knows, now, _she thinks, involuntarily. That causes another sigh to leave her lips, and she half-turns to sneak a glance at him, fiddling with his locker on the opposite end of the hall. Her eyes trail over the evident scars and blue-black patches that cover all but the entire of his exposed skin, and in that moment he shuts his locker with a snap and looks up at her. Their gazes meet, for a split-second, and she can almost feel a smile rising to her face — then he turns away; the moment's broken, and she reminds herself once more, _we're over. It's nothing._

But yet it's _something_ — to her, and to him as well. She knows that he comes to watch her through her window sometimes; it's actually rather obvious. He thinks he's being discreet but he's not — he leaves behind tiny strands of webbing and sometimes smears of fog from his breath across the glass. She's not stupid, and she knows that he's blinded by his stupid pride and his supposed _honour_ — one that requires him to uphold his promise to her dead father. Gwen is aware that she's being selfish, and that she can't expect him to choose between her and keeping his promise — but sometimes she thinks _he's_ being immature and childish, that he's never even _considered_ how she feels.

On bad days he comes to school marked all over, and on good days he usually has an unharmed patch of skin or two. Every one of those bruises and scars and scabs stings like a blow to her heart, and on a particularly bad day when he's wincing with every movement he takes, she stalks over to him and slams his locker shut, glowering at him.

"Gwen." He sounds startled, and slightly wary.

She's surprised by the anger in her voice as she speaks. "You're not infallible, Peter Parker." Then she turns away with tears pricking the back of her eyes and heads off to class, feeling his eyes on her back with every step she takes. When she's at the corner she pauses and almost turns, but she grits her teeth even as her tears start to pour and marches away.

Just _why_ he feels that it's his responsibility to save the world, she just can't figure out, and she has a feeling that she will never entirely understand the enigmatic Peter Parker.

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**A/N** — someone I will not mention private-messaged me the other day, and asked whether Peter and Gwen would end up together in the end (of my one-shot collection, because in actual canon they _do_ end up together, but flargle everything's movieverse for me right now.) I must say I can't really see that happening because the movie didn't provide a definitive conclusion to their relationship, but when they finish angsting I'll consider putting in a fluffy piece or two :3

thanks for reading, and please do _not _favourite or alert without reviewing (:


	3. she came looking

▌**spidersilk.**  
a _spider-man_ fanfiction by show me the horizon~

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(three)  
she came looking.

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"That girl came looking for you today," Aunt May remarks as he steps through the front door and dusts his feet off on the front mat. He keeps his eyes trained on the floor and tries not to sound halfway-panicked, what he's really feeling in reality.

"Oh yeah? What girl?"

"You know what girl," she chides him, waving her wooden spoon in the air. It's covered with some sort of red sauce; Peter's guess would be spaghetti with meatballs. He's spot on, as in the next moment she declares, "I'm cooking spaghetti with meatballs tonight. You like that, don't you?"

"You could have made meatloaf instead," he shrugs, and a small smile surfaces on her lips at the mention.

"Yes, but then I would scare her away, wouldn't I?"

"Scare _who_ away?" He whirls around, in the midst of traipsing towards the fridge, feeling something like dread sink into the depths of his stomach. _Please don't let it be who I think it is . . . _"Um, who would you scare away, Aunt May?"

"Why, that girl, of course!" She takes a step towards him and he instinctively turns to the other side, in an attempt to conceal the bright purple shiner in the hollow of his right cheek, his — thankfully — only scar from the day's earlier incident. "How's your job at the Daily Bugle going?"

"Huh? Uh, good," Peter says, recalling the lie that he'd cooked up in order to explain the increasing amounts of time he'd been spending away from home. Almost weakly, he lifts the camera slung around his neck. "Took some really good pictures of the bank robbery earlier on. Aunt May . . . _why_ and _how,_ exactly, would you scare away Gw— that girl?"

"Well, didn't your uncle say that my meatloaf was terrible?" Aunt May plants her hands on her hips in mock-anger, but still he detects the slight waver in her demeanour at the mention of Uncle Ben. "Your friend would be scared stiff within one bite. I couldn't possibly have made meatloaf."

"Aunt May — " he's feeling almost choked now; "— in what circumstance would she be able to taste your cooking?"

The answer is so obvious, so blatant, but still he refuses to come to terms with the fact that she's — Gwen's — _please don't let it be true please don't let it be true _—

"I'd noticed that she's been coming over quite often to look for you," Aunt May remarked thoughtfully, "and when I asked her why she didn't get to talk to you in school, she said that you didn't really see each other much." _A lie_, Peter thinks instinctively, _we run into each other almost twenty times a day, all of which I could have done without. _"—so, I invited her over to dinner!"

He freezes, his blood turning to ice in his veins, and just stares at her for a moment, slack-jawed. Her smile quickly fades as she notices the bruise on the side of his face. "_Peter Parker,_ what on _earth_ happened to your face!"

Peter forces a smile. "Um, these reporters and newscasters, they're— they're a little rough," he finishes lamely and turns away from her, reaching into the fridge and groping blindly. His fingers curl around the first thing they meet, an ice-cold can of Coke. "Well, uh, I'd better go upstairs. Uh, lots of homework." With that, he slams the refrigerator shut and sprints upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. When he reaches his room he slams the door shut and slumps against it, wondering to himself how in the _world_ he got into that mess.

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**A/N** — oh dear, I haven't updated in ages! D:

dreadfully sorry about that, so to make up for it, I'm uploading two chapters at once, and you can expect the next oneshot within a week or two! also, I know this isn't really a oneshot, in this instance, it's kind of a two-shot (:

do read and review! :3 (reviews make the chapters come faster, hohoho)

and please do not favourite or alert without reviewing!


	4. elapsing eternity

▌**spidersilk.**  
a _spider-man_ fanfiction by show me the horizon~

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(four)  
elapsing eternity.

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It's six o' clock when the bell rings. Peter's still sprawled across his bed, and at the sound of the bell he sits bolt upright and panicks, because _damn it all_ he has no idea what to wear. He spends the next fifteen minutes going through his closet and in the process tearing up a few of his shirts — he tends to lose control of his superhuman strength when going through extreme emotions — and finally struggles into a somewhat decent, collared shirt and clean trousers.

The next ten minutes are spent before his mirror, staring at his reflection and trying to think of what to say. _I feel like a schoolgirl,_ he thinks to himself abashedly, and grimaces. _I'm supposed to be getting over her, not trying to impress her. _Peter forces himself to calm down, thinks, _you can do this_, before hitting the button on his desk. The lock clicks open, and gritting his teeth, he yanks open the door and heads downstairs.

The moment he steps onto the landing he freezes, Gwen is conversing with Aunt May in the hallway. Her voice is so familiar, and her smile so natural — he just stands at the top of the stairs, watching them, because he knows that the moment they catch sight of him, everything will be unnatural and forced. _You promised her father you'd stay away from her,_ he reminds himself. _You promised. _

But then Gwen laughs, and her laughter fills the hall, echoing off the walls — and for a minute or two Peter Parker forgets his promise to Captain Stacy. Because everything in that moment is grounded to Gwen, the girl he loves — or used to. _Don't_, he tells himself fiercely, _don't._

Still he seems to spend eternity at the top of the stairwell, just observing her. Everything about her is so familiar — from the curve of her chin to the curl of her eyelashes — and she's so beautiful that it _hurts; _but he promised, _he promised_, and he can't go against that now.

Taking a deep breath, he takes a step forward, and instantly two pairs of eyes are drawn to him. Gwen's stare is piercing, and it hovers on him for less than a split-second, before both of them look away to opposite ends of the house.

"Peter, there you are! You've been taking _forever_," Aunt May says with a roll of her eyes. "He was probably rehearsing what to say," she adds to Gwen in a stage whisper, and as he predicted, Gwen's laugh this time is fake and too loud, but Aunt May doesn't notice a thing.

"No, I wasn't," he says softly, and it's barely audible. He clears his throat and pushes his father's glasses further up his nose, repeating, "no, I wasn't," but it's still so weak that he can't even convince himself. Aunt May knows him inside out, so she just gives him a knowing smirk before swivelling on her heel. "Well, let's head to the dining room, then—"

"Wait!" he cries out; both of them turn around. Peter flushes under their gazes, and holds up the camera he has in one hand. "Um, can the two of you stand by the door? I'd like — I'd like to take a picture of both of you." His eyes meet hers, and this time she doesn't look away. "It'd — it'd serve as a memory." Gwen still doesn't respond, her eyes seem to bore into his soul. "I mean — uh — pictures last forever, don't they? Like memories. And — and . . . yeah." He shrugs helplessly, knowing that he's being incredibly incoherent, but still hoping that they'll understand him.

A heartbeat later Aunt May replies. "Of course!" She steers Gwen towards the door and positions both of them side by side. "Have you heard? Peter's gotten a job at the Daily Bugle as a photographer. It's likely he's gotten better." She says proudly.

"I hadn't heard," Gwen says; her voice is soft. "He's also part of the photography club at school, everyone says he's really good."

He hadn't expected that; he almost drops the camera but catches himself just in time. "Um, you two . . . " he raises the camera to eye level and focuses it. "Smile." He's expecting another false smile from Gwen, but her lips actually curl into a real, genuine smile this time. At the sight of it, he can't help the smile that spreads across his own face, thankful that it's hidden behind the camera.

The camera flash goes off, capturing that moment forever.

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**A/N** — so they haven't exactly made up, but they're getting there . . . slowly. it'll probably take a while more before they get together ;)

also one of my readers asked me how long this collection would be. haha, i really have no idea . . . until the next movie comes out and they make up? idk :P but you can be safe in saying that it's not going to end anytime soon . . . feel free to send in prompts if you like! (:

explanation of chapter title: this one relates heavily to time. (minutes, seconds, eternity, forever, etc.) it's to demonstrate the fact that time passes, and people change. but some things don't. (:

review, por favor? :3

and please do not favourite or alert without reviewing!


	5. the first sign

▌**spidersilk.**  
a _spider-man_ fanfiction by show me the horizon~

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(five)  
the first sign.

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He returns to school on Monday with a heart less burdened, but if he had thought — if only for a second — that dinner on Friday night would have eased the tension between them, he's wrong. If anything the silence between them is even more forced and pronounced. Sometimes, though, he sees her sneak these tiny glances at him, with those searching, soulful eyes of hers — and it's all he can do not to march up to her and demand _what exactly she expects him to do, _because he's the one with the promise and not _her._

Whatever euphoria he'd experienced that night, whatever hope he'd had at reconciliation — all seemed to fade into nothing on Monday, when she sees him and looks away almost instantly, as if they're back to playing that game again, one in which neither emerged champions.

It's hard to describe how _defeated _he feels — they're back to square one again, with no sign of progressing. But she, evidently, has other ideas.

The first sign comes on Tuesday morning, when they've just been dismissed from their last lesson; as is typical, the school tunes in to the local radio station for the news. He's halfway down the corridor, heading towards the exit, when the speaker suddenly crackles. ". . . there's been a robbery down on . . . police are currently trying to apprehend the perpetrator . . . " he tenses, immediately, and starts towards the door, but a hand wraps around his wrist, holding him back. He turns around to face a pair of dangerously shiny eyes, and she whispers, "Don't."

"I have to," he replies, and tries to tug his hand out of her grasp, but she remains firm. "You don't have to save the world, Peter Parker. No matter what you think, what my . . . father told you." Her voice falters, and the tears almost spill from her eyes, but she manages to hold them back. "If — if you don't do this, I —" for a moment, she almost looks uncertain, but steadies her voice. "The reason why my father wanted you to keep away from me was because you have this . . . obsession with saving the world."

He's mesmerised by her, and finds that he suddenly can't move. "The world won't end if you just let it go this once," she says, a note of finality in her voice, before she lets go and stalks away, head held high. He's frozen there in the middle of the hallway, motionless and pondering her words. Is she asking him to choose? Is she asking him to choose between _her_ and Spider-man?

_You've made many choices that changed your life, Peter Parker,_ he tells himself, but a sense of urgency bubbles up in him — almost as if his brain it's shouting, _it's now or never, make your pick. Gwen — or Spider-man_?

_I don't want to save the world,_ he thinks reflexively, _it shouldn't be one thing or the other. _Then why, he wonders, does he hurry off at the mere mention of crime on the radio? _Why_ does he feel that, just because he has the ability to, he _has _to help rid the streets of robbers and crooks? The burden of _saving the world_ is too much for any teenage boy to handle, and even if that's what he's heading to, he's not ready for it, not yet.

Time seems to pause.

Then he swings his pack over his shoulder and extracts his handphone, thumbing in a familiar number. " . . . yeah, hi, Aunt May? It's Peter. I'm — I'm coming home for lunch today." He turns around and heads towards the exit, guilt weighing heavily down on his heart. "Uh, yeah, the Daily Bugle doesn't need me on duty today . . . "

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**A/N** — and i think this is kind of turning out to be a multichapter? idek; vignettes maybe? well, i'm taking the "oneshot" part out of the summary, because it doesn't really apply anymore :3

also, a request — could some of you lovelies go review chapter three? i mean, you did read both but all of you only reviewed 4; but chapter 3 needs some love because it has absolutely no reviews :/ so if some of you could just do that i would be immensely grateful. (:

and review. of course review, and please do not favourite or alert without doing so!


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